I prefer a democracy

It's been a long time since i posted. and honestly not even sure about posting right now. I'm taking some time to reflect. I've been in a relationship for over 3 years now with a pretty good guy. he tries hard. He's got an ex-wife and two kids. and literally the only thing I can compare his ex-wife to is donald trump (but without the loads of money but then again, do we really know what kind of money trump has either?).

Things are stressful. their oldest son has Autism, he'd be great but he's so impressionable. and Mom just breathes hostility all the time. There are two people when it comes to mom, the side that we (meaning myself, my boyfriend, the kids, her boyfriend, and my boyfriend's family) see and then there's the side that is presented to the public. She paints this picture that my boyfriend is a deadbeat father and does nothing for the kids. Meanwhile we never talk negative about her to the kids or even in the house when they are here. (kids hear everything even when you think they aren't listening).

She and the kids live 2.5 hours away from us. We drive there every other friday and a back to pick them up and to drop them off on sunday. (you read that correctly, she doesnt meet even part of the way- claims to have PTSD and can't cross bridges- even though she works across a bridge and lives between 3 of them). Every other week we get to hear about why do I not hate their mom, that their mom is so mean to me and talks bad about me, and they ask why am i still nice to her. Every week we hear about how she's telling the kids she's going to have their dad move back in with them. (Mind you, she has a live-in boyfriend and she had been having an affair even before my boyfriend and her got married) She tells therapists and doctors that my boyfriend isn't over their relationship and all that went on in it, when in actuality it's her that seems to not be able to come to grips with reality. She attacks and calls him names. She's lied in court about things. She is just an overall horrible human being. I've found that over the last 3 years i've become a very negative person and due to her I seem to see the worst in everyone now. I also feel like giving up. how can someone soooo horrible be granted custody of the kids. Why can't people see how truly bad she is? I mean in states where recording people is legal I'm sure she'd be locked up. She calls their son with autism names and says that he's going to be living with her forever because he'll never be able to live on his own or away from her. non of which is true. he's got HFA (High Functioning Autism) and actually really really smart, just lazy as hell. He'd rather fight and argue than truly do the class work because honestly, he says it's hard but I think it's just too easy for him. It doesnt activate his mind.

He also has a love of computers/electronics. Mom won't allow him these things, with consistent monitory things  are great. but she's not consistent and doesn't like to monitor things either. She wants things to be easy. and I can tell she resents the oldest for being different, difficult, or harder to handle than a "normal" kid.

Don't get me wrong, there are moments when the Bulldog mom seems to care. but those moments are few and far between. Like we taught the kids how to swim (they are 12 & 9), we take them to the pool, and work on exercising and swimming in the pool. Well now, she's having a pool installed at her house. says we are going to pay for it because it's "therapy for the kids".  court order says that we are responsible for childcare when they are in our care, she now says she's going to send the oldest to a camp and we are going to pay for it because she's going to classify it as "therapy". She's literally using the kids for money, sometimes, I think. It's frustrating.

Some days i just pretend she's not in our lives, those days are good. Those days are much better. But wow, i've never met someone that can train you so quickly. It's sad. it's frustrating.

Almost three years ago, I said I wanted to meet her before meeting the kids. She refused. I tried many times with this lady. Even still, every christmas i get her something, every mother's day, and her birthday. But still she treats me like crap. She wants my income to count towards her child support. But doesnt want her live-in boyfriend's income our all her rental income from all the roommates she rents out the two rooms downstairs to. (that's another issue... these people don't have background checks and are around the kids regularly! and they change every few weeks. it's unnerving) I think from now on i just need to blog about it. It drives my boyfriend crazy talking about it cause he just wants to ignore her and be happy and pretend like she's not there. and when it comes to the kids drop everything just to have them and do what she says to get them. She's a dictator and i prefer a democracy.